By: Maralee McKee
Greetings!
Welcome to Monday! The best part of each one, for me, is connecting with you! Thanks for dropping by!
Here’s a random question. Ever pondered what your deepest emotional fear is?
Not just your phobias, like apprehension about spiders, heights, flying, or — my particular odd avoidance — Japanese Steak Houses.
Yes, that’s right, Japanese Steak Houses.
They’re the Russian roulette of restaurants. I have a fear that the knife the chef is wielding as he’s adding a little tableside razzle-dazzle to chopping up my chicken and shrimp might, with one slight slip on his part, end up adding a portion of my scalp to the combo platter.
Kent, my husband, thinks this is the most ridiculous phobia ever. When I confided it to my sweet guy, he actually laughed at me. It wasn’t just a chuckle either. It was a deep belly laugh.
Sadly, my fearful vision has manifested itself. Kent and I saw a news story about a customer at a Japanese eatery in California who had to be rushed to the ER. Why? He suffered a serious head wound caused by a chef with a slippery hand.
After watching the story, Kent, always the gentleman, apologized for mocking my fear, but begged me to believe him that this knife-flinging lightning bolt would NEVER strike twice.
Smiling, I replied, “You know what they say: Never say ‘Never’!”
Of course, this is just my silly phobia, not my deepest emotional dread. For me, that’s the fear of being utterly alone.
Not for a day (actually, I’d consider that a gift!), or a week, or a month, but alone on my deathbed. That no one comes to my funeral because I didn’t make enough of an impact or difference for anyone to bother to show up. I bet a lot of us, even most of us, share this fear.
What does this have to do with etiquette?
Bunches.
Why? Because etiquette trains us to esteem others in our daily interactions and teaches us the language of living out that esteem in words and actions. And yes, that language has to be taught to us, since our human nature makes it not our native tongue.
It draws people to us. We become a magnet of warmth more attracting than true north.
It’s the way I want to live my life. I desire to be the person who boosts and elevates those I encounter, stranger and friend alike.
Most days, I don’t even need to do anything big. It’s the little moments that make up our lives: saying “Thanks a lot. This latte looks delicious!” to the fellow behind the coffee counter; starting a phone call by saying “Hey, you’re the person I most would love to talk to right now!” to the associate on the other end of the line; running ahead of a mom pushing a baby stroller and saying, “Here, allow me to get the door.”
My brand of etiquette isn’t about bowing, curtsying, hosting seated dinners for 12 with butler service, or hiding who you really are so you can falsely impress.
My brand is about determining who you want to be and then purposing to live it out 24/7 until your desire becomes your virtue.
It brings dignity and an easy poise to your life. It isn’t effortless. It is rewarding!
I’m not yet there. I’m a lot closer than I was a few years ago. I plan and hope to get another inch closer today. I love my journey.
I’m glad you’re an etiquette fan, too. It’s great to journey with you.
Until next Monday, stay safe in knife-wielding restaurants, and bless others by living out your etiquette lifestyle in all your encounters!